Last year I started this little ditty to commemorate a moment/memory for each year I was born: 27 Things from 27 Years of My Life.
I shall continue where I left off…
I was born on January 4th, 1985. It was a cold, dark and confusing day when I caught a wave into town. A couple people hit me, gave me a bath and fed me something to eat – the details are rough as it was some time ago. I would like to take this time to reflect back on 27 of the most random things that happened in my life.
1. Father Du was high in a tree cutting down branches by his hand. He forgot about toddler me and nearly killed my with a tree branch that fell close by. It was a good time.
2. When my sister was born I was laying in bed with my mom, her water broke and I thought my mom peed the bed. It was a confusing time.
3. My mom tied my shoes until I was 5. I simply put my foot up and she did the rest for 5 years. Spoiled.
4. The first time I remember knowing I was stubborn – trying to learn how to ride my bike. The damn bike wouldn’t stand up when I was on it so I slammed it down and walked inside.
5. When I was younger my mom put green dye in with chicken and told me we were having frogs for dinner. I cried.
6. I used to sneak spoon fulls of Nestle when my mom wasn’t looking. I learned my lesson when I thought that baking hershey chocolate was the same thing. Ouch.
7. When I was sick my mom used to tell me that the Cookie Monster lived in my ears and to get me to feel better she would pretend my ear was a phone and she would call Cookie Monster. “A one ringy dingy..” Sometimes I cried. Who wants the Cookie Monster in their ears!??
8. My sister had an imaginary friend named Skeeter when she was a baby/toddler. I used to throw him out the car window and in the trash. My parents made me get him out every time.
9. My first crush was Dougie Howser – he’s gay now. Good pick.
10. I’ve never had a detention, in school, in my life.
11. I met Ben Stein in Washington DC during my 8th grade trip to Washington. I said, “OMG, you’re Ben Stein.” He said, “Everybody’s gotta be somewhere. I have his picture to prove it.
12. I loved climbing trees and building tents when I was a kid.
13. I bowled with Pete Webber. (Don’t know who he is? Look it up.)
14. I pretend I was an alien and a vampire in the 4th & 5th grade.
15. I ate my first strawberry when I was in my 20’s.
16. My first screen name was JMD1892 and I switched it to UuHhChew and then to Eyemdrunk151.
17. My first boyfriend’s name was, and I’m not joking, John Jacob… Jingleheimer Schmidt….his name is my name too! Whenever I got out, the people always shout: There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt… lalalalalalaaaaaa
18. I slept in the same bed as my mother until I was 14ish/15.
19. I had to learn all the words to Nelly’s Country Gramma’ by rewinding a CD…no internet.
20. I forged my mom’s signature on a math test in middle school and got caught…. I was one of 5 kids in my class to do the same thing!
21. My first concert was Cher/Bon Jovi and because I was a toddler, the only thing I remember is someone’s RV and an oversized gorilla.
22. Meatloaf came to Akron for a charity softball game. We ran down to meet him. I shook his hand.
23. My sister and I randomly met the man who wrote the lyrics to Eye of the Tiger at Lock 3 in downtown Akron.
24. I went to Disney when I was 5 and I can only remember the Dumbo ride, but I still have my ticket!
25. My mom said that I could stay up as late as I wanted on school night’s as long as I was reading… I stayed up many nights reading.
26. My all time favorite book is called the Appleton’s and it’s about a family whose heads turn into apples. It is the ONLY book I have read more than once.
27. I used to ride my bike and try to get lost around town, when I got my license I realized that I was never really far from home.
28. My dad wrote a song about me, my sister and our nicknames (Butterfly and Bumblebee). He randomly knew a women who was married to one of the drummers for Garth Brooks. “Jennifer my little butterfly, wont you fly away with me? In the breeze and through the trees, Jennifer my little butterfly, won’t you fly away with me…”