Last year I started this little ditty to commemorate a moment/memory for each year I was born: 27 Things from 27 Years of My Life.

I shall continue where I left off…

It is true. On this day, 28 moons ago, I was born. A little weeble wobble I was. It’s is actually weird being 28. I have so many great memories that it’s kinda like, “how did 28 get here so fast?” You spend your entire life waiting to turn a certain number or say a certain age, and then POOF, it’s here.

When you’re 6, you’re 6 1/2 and then 7, 7 1/2, 8… until you’re 12.

When you’re 12, you’re almost 13 - for nine whole months.

When you’re 13, you talk about turning 15 for two whole years.

When you are 15, you get ready for the sweet 16, and then wait two more years for the big 18.

When 18 comes, you realize it meant nothing more than buying cigs (I don’t smoke), lottery tickets (I was broke) and join the army (couldn’t do it). Then you drink illegally and talk about “how you can’t wait until you turn 21” and how “you are going to go so hard.”

Twenty-one comes and then being in your twenties is fun until you make it over 25 and then slowly realize that 30 is approaching. The cakes stop coming, cards turn into Facebook birthday wishes, you’ve grown and your responsibilities stop you and your friends from having an excuse to get wild. I cried when I turned 26. I cried for 24 hours and for some ungodly reason, I just couldn’t stop.

So here I is. 28 years of age. A few bumps in my road, but nothing life lessons, things my mother said and experience couldn’t fix. So here is to you number 28. Keep the days and nights coming, I gots more shit to do. :D

This morning we got up to actually “watch the sun come up over Santa Monica Blvd.” Thank you Cheryl Crow for providing the lyrics that made this moment a literal experience. All we wanted to do is have some fun. We had a feeling the party had just begun. Making music lyrics literal since 1985.

I was born on January 4th, 1985. It was a cold, dark and confusing day when I caught a wave into town. A couple people hit me, gave me a bath and fed me something to eat – the details are rough as it was some time ago. I would like to take this time to reflect back on 27 of the most random things that happened in my life.

1. Father Du was high in a tree cutting down branches by his hand. He forgot about toddler me and nearly killed my with a tree branch that fell close by. It was a good time.

2. When my sister was born I was laying in bed with my mom, her water broke and I thought my mom peed the bed. It was a confusing time.

3. My mom tied my shoes until I was 5. I simply put my foot up and she did the rest for 5 years. Spoiled.

4. The first time I remember knowing I was stubborn – trying to learn how to ride my bike. The damn bike wouldn’t stand up when I was on it so I slammed it down and walked inside.

5. When I was younger my mom put green dye in with chicken and told me we were having frogs for dinner. I cried.

6. I used to sneak spoon fulls of Nestle when my mom wasn’t looking. I learned my lesson when I thought that baking hershey chocolate was the same thing. Ouch.

7. When I was sick my mom used to tell me that the Cookie Monster lived in my ears and to get me to feel better she would pretend my ear was a phone and she would call Cookie Monster. “A one ringy dingy..” Sometimes I cried. Who wants the Cookie Monster in their ears!??

8. My sister had an imaginary friend named Skeeter when she was a baby/toddler. I used to throw him out the car window and in the trash. My parents made me get him out every time.

9. My first crush was Dougie Howser – he’s gay now. Good pick.

10. I’ve never had a detention, in school, in my life.

11. I met Ben Stein in Washington DC during my 8th grade trip to Washington. I said, “OMG, you’re Ben Stein.” He said, “Everybody’s gotta be somewhere. I have his picture to prove it.

12. I loved climbing trees and building tents when I was a kid.

13. I bowled with Pete Webber. (Don’t know who he is? Look it up.)

14. I pretend I was an alien and a vampire in the 4th & 5th grade.

15. I ate my first strawberry when I was in my 20’s.

16. My first screen name was JMD1892 and I switched it to UuHhChew and then to Eyemdrunk151.

17. My first boyfriend’s name was, and I’m not joking, John Jacob… Jingleheimer Schmidt….his name is my name too! Whenever I got out, the people always shout: There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt… lalalalalalaaaaaa

18. I slept in the same bed as my mother until I was 14ish/15.

19. I had to learn all the words to Nelly’s Country Gramma’ by rewinding a CD…no internet.

20. I forged my mom’s signature on a math test in middle school and got caught…. I was one of 5 kids in my class to do the same thing!

21. My first concert was Cher/Bon Jovi and because I was a toddler, the only thing I remember is someone’s RV and an oversized gorilla.

22. Meatloaf came to Akron for a charity softball game. We ran down to meet him. I shook his hand.

23. My sister and I randomly met the man who wrote the lyrics to Eye of the Tiger at Lock 3 in downtown Akron.

24. I went to Disney when I was 5 and I can only remember the Dumbo ride, but I still have my ticket!

25. My mom said that I could stay up as late as I wanted on school night’s as long as I was reading… I stayed up many nights reading.

26. My all time favorite book is called the Appleton’s and it’s about a family whose heads turn into apples. It is the ONLY book I have read more than once.

27. I used to ride my bike and try to get lost around town, when I got my license I realized that I was never really far from home.

And look at the finished this blog at 12:02 a.m. – just enough time to turn 27! Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeee.