Déjà Vu
I was craving a nice bagel with a little cream cheese. I’m not entirely too sure why I thought Dunkin’ D’s would provide me with that. In fact, I have a weeks worth of cream cheese I scraped off my bagel if anyone needs any. 

No wonder why America is fat. Lady, did you honestly think ten pounds of cream cheese made sense? Get it together people. I want a snack, not heart failure.

I was craving a nice bagel with a little cream cheese. I’m not entirely too sure why I thought Dunkin’ D’s would provide me with that. In fact, I have a weeks worth of cream cheese I scraped off my bagel if anyone needs any.

No wonder why America is fat. Lady, did you honestly think ten pounds of cream cheese made sense? Get it together people. I want a snack, not heart failure.

This is gonna be OH! SO GOOD!

Serving for Two:

Mix in:
Jennie-O Turkey Burger
1 cup chopped croutons 
1/2 cup mozzarella 
1/4 cup shredded parm
Italian Seasoning
Red Pepper Flakes

Add 1/4 cup pizza sauce on bottom of baking pan

Mix and roll into small balls
Place on pan

Use 1/2 cup pizza sauce and place overtop of each ball

Cut spinach fine and sprinkle on top

Put in oven at 360 until done!

Pair with 2 cups of whole wheat pasta.

(Boy this smells good!)

Enjoy!

This is gonna be OH! SO GOOD!

Serving for Two:

Mix in:
Jennie-O Turkey Burger
1 cup chopped croutons
1/2 cup mozzarella
1/4 cup shredded parm
Italian Seasoning
Red Pepper Flakes

Add 1/4 cup pizza sauce on bottom of baking pan

Mix and roll into small balls
Place on pan

Use 1/2 cup pizza sauce and place overtop of each ball

Cut spinach fine and sprinkle on top

Put in oven at 360 until done!

Pair with 2 cups of whole wheat pasta.

(Boy this smells good!)

Enjoy!

Not a 100% nutritionally sound snack, but with stove top popcorn at 100 calories (140 if you count the two tbsp. recommended oil to help the popping begin.) Ahemmm, I did not add butter OR salt and 1 tbsp. of oil worked just fine.

Nestlé hot chocolate carries about 80 calories - and I used water. If you use milk you’re looking at another 100+.

So after your three mile run, (like we did), the snack you are craving (a baby snack and the usual banana and lemon water won’t cut it), this bad snack isn’t really that bad. In fact, MUCH BETTER than a glass of chocolate milk and a bag of chemically enhanced microwave popcorn smothered in 30lbs of butter and an entire salt truck.

And yes, the 1/4 cup of kernels made all day pop-de-pop.

Holler.

Not a 100% nutritionally sound snack, but with stove top popcorn at 100 calories (140 if you count the two tbsp. recommended oil to help the popping begin.) Ahemmm, I did not add butter OR salt and 1 tbsp. of oil worked just fine.

Nestlé hot chocolate carries about 80 calories - and I used water. If you use milk you’re looking at another 100+.

So after your three mile run, (like we did), the snack you are craving (a baby snack and the usual banana and lemon water won’t cut it), this bad snack isn’t really that bad. In fact, MUCH BETTER than a glass of chocolate milk and a bag of chemically enhanced microwave popcorn smothered in 30lbs of butter and an entire salt truck.

And yes, the 1/4 cup of kernels made all day pop-de-pop.

Holler.

Stuffed my belly with stuffed noodles!

'Twas so yummy, I really wish it would have lasted longer!

However, this little ditty was under 600 calories! Just a little turkey burger, red pepper flakes, Italian seasoning, add spinach lettuce and 100% homemade tomato juice and stuff, stuff, STUFF your noodles after everything is cooked!

I paired the yummy noods with a 90 calorie Flat Out that I brushed with 1/2 tbps. of margy-poo and a sprink-e-doo of garlic powder.

See, dieters can eat comfort food. You just gotta’ be a smarty pants!

Stuffed my belly with stuffed noodles!

'Twas so yummy, I really wish it would have lasted longer!

However, this little ditty was under 600 calories! Just a little turkey burger, red pepper flakes, Italian seasoning, add spinach lettuce and 100% homemade tomato juice and stuff, stuff, STUFF your noodles after everything is cooked!

I paired the yummy noods with a 90 calorie Flat Out that I brushed with 1/2 tbps. of margy-poo and a sprink-e-doo of garlic powder.

See, dieters can eat comfort food. You just gotta’ be a smarty pants!

Lean Day 38:

Did you really think I forgot about my own made up diet plan? Heeeeccck no! I am killing it! I can 1,000% see a change in my body - whoa whoa whoa - scratch that. I 1,000% see the old me. I really think by the time Easter rolls around I will be able to fit into a size 8 (AHHHH hem… my high school pants.) Shirts fit that haven’t in a while and I finally broke down and bought myself a belt.

Who knew eating right could feel so good?

I still have no idea how much I am down, but I am willing to bet that I cracked the upper 130’s. The most disgusting time in my life, a high of 170’s, is far far far far far away from me. That will never ever happen again!

It’s all about portion control, maintaining your daily calorie intake, nix the pop and fast food and replace all the other devilishly awesome foods that I have been craving (milk shakes and potatoes chips) with a healthy alternative. It’s seriously mind over matter. The first week is a killer, but then it becomes a part of your life - a part that is possible. You just gotta get tired of going up a pant size and feeling like a slob.

You start thinking about your meals in terms of allotted calories. When you walk, you start having conversations about how the amount of calories burned in your 5 miles walk is equal to one Papa John’s slice of pizza! ONE PIZZA SLICE! Not worth it. I can whip up a pizza on a Flat Out that falls under 300 calories with all my favorite toppings - a whole pizza!

Tip: Just do it.

Got the get-down on Tony Little’s Gazelle cause my PIC is MIA doing his M.A.N thang.

So, I replaced my run with a little 90’s workout machine and watched my cut Pretty Little Liars - countdown to A - at the same time.

FYizzle - it took a straight up hour to accomplish the 300 calorie burn. Eh, truth be told I didn’t wanna run, but then I felt B.A.D.

Now I feel O.K.A.Y.

Got the get-down on Tony Little’s Gazelle cause my PIC is MIA doing his M.A.N thang.

So, I replaced my run with a little 90’s workout machine and watched my cut Pretty Little Liars - countdown to A - at the same time.

FYizzle - it took a straight up hour to accomplish the 300 calorie burn. Eh, truth be told I didn’t wanna run, but then I felt B.A.D.

Now I feel O.K.A.Y.

Oh my grilled cheese!

Under 500 calories of Swiss, Flat Out and tomato delight.

For two:

3 Flat Out Wraps (cut up and share)
Half 4 slices of Swiss 
Chop baby spinach
Grill (they burn quick - watch out!)

1 can of tomato soup
Enjoy a hefty amount of ground pepper for flavor.

Pair with milk, which bumps er’ to the 600 mark, but eh eh eh - that’s okay.

Desert? A nice run during this crazy cozy Ohio winter weather.

Oh my grilled cheese!

Under 500 calories of Swiss, Flat Out and tomato delight.

For two:

3 Flat Out Wraps (cut up and share)
Half 4 slices of Swiss
Chop baby spinach
Grill (they burn quick - watch out!)

1 can of tomato soup
Enjoy a hefty amount of ground pepper for flavor.

Pair with milk, which bumps er’ to the 600 mark, but eh eh eh - that’s okay.

Desert? A nice run during this crazy cozy Ohio winter weather.

Lean Day 26:

I will shout it from the mountain tops!

I BOUGHT A SIZE MEDIUM IN UNDERWEAR!

On this, the 26th day of Lean, My calorie intake is roughly around 1,000 calories a day. I am not starving myself. I am merely relying on Flat Out Wraps to create nearly every meal I eat. I crave chips - I cut and bake my FO’s at 350 degrees. I want pizza - I add sauce, turkey pepperoni, 1/4 cup of cheese and bake at 350. I want a burger - I fix me some Jenni-O turkey burger and wrap it in a FO. I want mexican - FO! Sandwiches? FO! It has really been that simple.

As for a work out? We are running a second 5K on April 14: Just A Run In The Park (Firestone Park - thee Harvey Firestone Park. A.K.A my old bike rides and stomping ground.) To prepare, we have been running around our neighborhood, which technically is a Target, Kohls, Bed Bath & Beyond and a Lowe’s. If we exit our door, down the hill, all the way around the shopping center, back up the hill and to our door - it’s roughly 1.14 miles.

Our first run was Valentines Day and we finished that mile-ish in 16:29. We’ve slowly brought that down to a 12:49. Not bad at all.

I have yet to weigh myself, but I purchased medium undies, a medium shirt and my pants are pretty loosey-goosey. I am actually afraid to weigh myself. New internal rule. No weighing thyself until the last day of Lean.

Tip: Eating like a bird means you will get a hangover from 5 drinks.

Side note: I am dying right now.

Suck on my dinner for two!

2 Flat Outs
1 Jennie-O sausage (chop fine)
1 tbsp of cumin
1 tbsp of chili powder
1/2 jar of salsa
Tad of water to keep from drying
1 serving of spinach
1 slice of pepper jack cheese per each

Pair w/Campbell’s soup Harvest Orange Tomato.

This dinner meal is 636 calories - and cheaters - spices ARE included!

Again, with your V8 breakfast & 200ish Flat Out pbj, you are more than okay with the daily calorie intake.

Suck on my dinner for two!

2 Flat Outs
1 Jennie-O sausage (chop fine)
1 tbsp of cumin
1 tbsp of chili powder
1/2 jar of salsa
Tad of water to keep from drying
1 serving of spinach
1 slice of pepper jack cheese per each

Pair w/Campbell’s soup Harvest Orange Tomato.

This dinner meal is 636 calories - and cheaters - spices ARE included!

Again, with your V8 breakfast & 200ish Flat Out pbj, you are more than okay with the daily calorie intake.

Lean Day 2:

Lawdy. LAWDY! (That’s my Sounthern 1960’s Mississippi draw, inspired by The Help.)

All I could think about yesterday was food and it wasn’t pretty at all. I drank a whole gallon of water in attempts to stop my brain when thoughts of food arose. It’s funny how two weeks ago, in the thick of busy work, I didn’t even give food a second thought and now, NOW — you would think I was a hiker lost in the woods for 3 weeks, eating only tree bark and pine needles.

I made it through and I am starring down the barrel of my third day.

So, yesterday I enjoyed a ‘naner for and EARLY breakfast, a under 300 calorie jelly sandwich on wheat with about 3 cucumbers - just cause - prior to the noon o’clock hour. Then I cracked with the onset of a hunger-headache and made me second sandwich for a snack. This is where the food demons took over. It was a salami, with 1 slice of pepper jack on wheat. It was a 770 calorie killer! HOWEVER, I was still under daily intake prior to dinner. SIDE NOTE: Salami is a killer - stick to jelly. For a much later dinner I enjoyed a correctly proportioned dinner of Jennie-O sausage, two scrambled eggs and 1.25 cup of hash browns. The eggs teetered me slightly over on my cholesterol, but I am a 27 year old whose cholesterol is perfectly fine. Besides, I don’t eat eggs by the daily. After the food day reared it’s pretty little head, there was a 1.5-something mile run/jog where 177 calories were burned. Aside from throwing that salami away today, the rest of the day will be better!

Lean Tip: NO SALAMI. That crap is 110 calories a slice and hardly the bees knees.

Now off for my morning ‘naner.

My FIRST 5K — Jack-O-Lantern Jog

First let me declare that today, young America, is National Taco Day! Therefore, I am going to enjoy all of my daily calories intake on my wonderful homemade soft taco delights! Chorizo, black beans, corn….

Anyway, back to this here blog.

On Saturday, Oct. 8 I have registered and committed to run, walk or jog in a Halloween 5K through Glendale Cemetery in my hometown of Akron, Ohio! This past Saturday, I woke up slightly hungover and decided it was now or never! Good ideas always come after a night of partying. It was time to remove myself from the treadmill and take a jog through the metro — you never know unless you try!

I didn’t do too bad, and with my trusty boyfriend along my side, I had reason to not give up hope — even as he skipped-to-my-loo all around me. We walk/jogged through the park for nearly 45 minutes and even returned Sunday — again, slightly hungover. Call me what you will, but I’m a dedicated runner — or, I aspire to be. Sunday, was less — um, I gave up pretty quick. We picked this huge Jack & Jill hill for some god awful reason and I couldn’t catch my breath after we reach the top of the first mountain. One mile, 35 stories high and I was fine and ready to return home.

Now it’s Monday and my eye is closely watching Saturday. I’m not a runner and have never been. I made a promise to myself: buck up and give a 5K a try. Hopefully the excitement of the 5K will fill me with that extra “I wanna run energy!”

Hey, all I hope to do is finish the 5K — and maybe eat some tacos tonight.

Over the moon about this! 

Wanna know why?

Eeek! I will totally tell!

I ate nacho’s yesterday, pizza, had a couple drinks, got started with a late weigh-in this morn. (the 10 a.m. lazy’s) AND I haven’t been to the gym yettttt (on my way)!!

So what does it all mean?

I’m 19.7 lbs (originally it was 18.1 lbs, but I got so excited that I got naked and weighed in again) away from my heaviest, I’m down 6.5 lbs since I started the Special K diet and Battle of the Fat diet/work out challenge (winner who loses the most lbs wins their favorite bottle of booze) with my co-worker AND down 2.7 lbs from Wednesday!

Omg,

I gotta eat a Special K bar for energy and hit the gym!

Such a good start to the day!

Back pat! Back pat! (not back fat! Holla.)

Over the moon about this!

Wanna know why?

Eeek! I will totally tell!

I ate nacho’s yesterday, pizza, had a couple drinks, got started with a late weigh-in this morn. (the 10 a.m. lazy’s) AND I haven’t been to the gym yettttt (on my way)!!

So what does it all mean?

I’m 19.7 lbs (originally it was 18.1 lbs, but I got so excited that I got naked and weighed in again) away from my heaviest, I’m down 6.5 lbs since I started the Special K diet and Battle of the Fat diet/work out challenge (winner who loses the most lbs wins their favorite bottle of booze) with my co-worker AND down 2.7 lbs from Wednesday!

Omg,

I gotta eat a Special K bar for energy and hit the gym!

Such a good start to the day!

Back pat! Back pat! (not back fat! Holla.)

Whose crazy idea was that anyway?

Coming off a food filled weekend, I decided during some part of the Sunday morning that Sunday night I would forego my household cleaning duties and commit myself to the treadmill for the entire length of a movie. With Netflix capabilities on my iphone, I was able to successfully run/walk on the treadmill and watch the entire movie When in Rome. Pretty ambitious of myself, if you ask me.

Today will mark the fourth week of my attempt to “train” for the Halloween 5k I will run in October. I claim Sunday’s success as a run/walk because, well, if I was able to run for an entire 90 minutes just after four weeks of running, then I think I would be somewhat of a super hero. I haven’t really got the knack of running for longevity, but I feel someday I shall accomplish that fleet. I’m fine with how I am doing thus far. 

To summarize a run/walk: I run for as long as possible, without walking as much as possible, during the first 3 miles — roughly what a 5k would work out to be. When I hit the 3 mile benchmark, I walk a minute and then run a minute for as long as I want or can stand.

Sunday night was pretty exciting. When in Rome lasted for an entire 90 minutes, which, for me, was a little over 6 miles and 600 calories. Coming off the run I felt really good! This morning I am stiff as a dead bird. I do not want to over do anything, so I think I will grab The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore and get lost in my book and have a damn good walk — cause OH, BOY! What was I thinking?! 

Rambling Man.

A good friend once told me, “You don’t see results overnight.”

My response, “But I just waaaannnnnnnaaa…”

Feeling good and looking good whilst naked, buck, nude or birthday suited are entirely different. What you see is what you get and how you feel is how you feel. You can feel good and not look good or you can look good and not feel good. How do I feel? It’s been two weeks since cardio mania. I feel fine. I just wish I would wake up with the body of a super model, but (all together now, class…) “you don’t see results over night.”

I see some results and I acknowledge that the image and idea I have my for myself will not come at the drop of a dime — if it did then I would be dropping dimes instead of blogging. 

I’m proud of myself for sticking to my guns and ignoring the little devilish ego resting on my right shoulder— 

Listen to me! I sound like a contestant on the set of the Biggest Loser trying to drop the weight of a small horse. Although, if I am carrying the weight of a small horse, I hope he fell off yesterday! Worked out two times and burned off damn near 1,500 calories — got both feet into a pair of blue jeans that I had tucked away in the back of my closet too. 

Eh, I guess since “you don’t see result over night” I should shut my pie and get to the gym..

Excuse me sir, but have you seen my boobies?

Funny thing about working out — the last thing you hope to go is the first. You gotta a little meat to give off the hips, love handles to remove, rump-age to drop off, cheeks could deflate, thy area disappear, upper arms shrink; that mystery under your chin that could stand to be removed and all parameters surrounding the belly button. Does any of it pull a Houdini and disappear? No! They pull a fatty fatty 2x4 and hang around a while. Oh, but  where did thee boob-u-las go? 

I’m still trying to figure that one out! It is pretty apparent that Sonny and Cher have left the bra — Eeer, building!

Oh, of all the friends I could stand to loose…my girlfriends abandon me first. At the rate I’m going — I’m nearly one week and a handle full of calories away from losing my cleavage! Oh, the horror! The one and only thing a sister needs is her life is cleavage! Our man power! Weaponry. Artillery… 

I’m only kidding. If I lose 30 lbs. and return to my athletic high school self then I would gladly embrace misquote boobies into my life. All in the name of a sacrifice: wearing a size 8 again! Besides—

I gotta’ man. There is no use for these puppies anymore. Retire old gals! For you have done your job! 

….only kidding honey. 

I guess I could at least recognize that all my heard work is paying off. A pat on the back for a job well done and a tear for my homies Sonny and Cher.