Grab life by the boner
Yep, the bone-er.
How can you ever get anywhere in life if you A.) don’t have a plan or goal and B.) don’t grab life by the boner? Personally, no one wants to grab the balls when everyone else is too. Then that makes you a follower, right? Pretty sure it does.
WTF are you talking about. Eh, why do you care? If you are gonna read then don’t ask questions. Act like this is a Sunday church sermon and find your own damn meaning.
I am focusing on, the said “boner grabbing,” AND a more conscious effort in positive thinking and being nice. Well, I guess that is really three things, but let us group the nice and positive and call it all even-steven. Bananas? Buuuhhhhh-nanas.
Because My Momma Told Me So.
I always knew that things would fall into place, because my mother told me so.
Even at times when I didn’t always put forth my best efforts I still knew that I would accomplish the goals I set out to. Become the lead in my senior class play: Dracula. I made it, but I didn’t study like I should have, in fact, I wasn’t alone. Most of us were more interested in partying then rehearsing our lines so much so that the play was nearly shut down, but we promised we would study and we didn’t, but the show went on! The day before the play I realized I was so focused on the first half of the play, I hardly knew my lines for the second half and began slowly kicking myself for missing so many practices — um, who said anything about a dance scene? Win cutest couple senior year. I have no idea why that was on my list, but without trying I succeeded — unfortunately! Haha. There was only one cute thing about that mess and it was me. Find a successful job. There has always been a camera on my arm or something artsy-fartsy going on in my brain. Most people wouldn’t be shocked to hear that I went to school for media and ended up in a career as a videographer and video editor — I pinch myself often. I went through hell and high water in my first job that got me through school and found myself wonder many times if this is where my life would take me: miserable in a hospital kitchen with some of the most ruthless people I had ever encountered. I do not know how or when I saw the light at the end of that tunnel, but after nearly 9 years, I ran for it! Discover the meaning of happy. So many times in my past, and perhaps it was that one tragic event after another, I was depressed beyond my own comprehension. I wore black. I hated colors. I was sad. I cried for no reason. I often thought about seeking help, but there was a voice in my head that just keep telling me, “tomorrow will be a better day.” I made it through and even with more grief and the stresses of life, I somehow taught myself how to cope and pull through. I took all those cliche quotes and made them real. I didn’t just repeat them because they sounded cool. I made them stick. Tomorrow is never promised. I found that out the hard way when my dad died. My dad died. Even to this day I have to remind myself. Find someone who makes “Once upon a time” and “happily ever after” possible. Once you discover the true meaning of bullshit, and stop trying to make diamonds out of coal, you WILL find thee guy. I knew it would happen, but I had to stop being a kid and wash away all the crap the t.v. and radio told me love was. Sometimes a dozen roses comes in the form of a compliment or the ability to make you laugh when you least expect to. They wont always be your lover cause sometimes you just need a friend and thankfully I got my head out of my ass because the jerk who spilled pop on my shoe just bought me a house, but the best part is — I could live in a cardboard box with the guy and still have a great time. There are still a few things on my list that have to wait, but the great news it that I know that it all happens for a reason when it is supposed to, but that’s only because my momma told me so.
My new shirt is better than you!
I went to Target for b-day gifts and came out with me gifts!
It’s a loose fitting mid drift T (mid drift feels like it should be one word - I’m too lazy to look) with this see-though material on the back and these fantasticly funky colors.
I’ll rock the motha’ eff outta’ a fashionable Mickey T any day.
Plus, I’m feeling hella mad skinny today. I rock.
What I’m gonna do with this Friday.
Today is me day. I feel like I need to let my mind be free and I need to have a little drink, not stop to think and relax. I have been going non stop for others — inside and outside of my mind. I enjoy doing things for people, but today I need a break. I’ve been using my Friday’s to squeeze in all about me time, but I feel like before I have a chance to wind down, breathe and enjoy my own personal request of relaxation, I feel it is too late. Part of it is my own fault. I tend to really stress about the things that cannot be fixed in the moment. I’ve been trying to work on that. That’s really what this is all about. Trying to letting my mind free of the stress and the things I can control, but that cannot be controlled today. I worry too much. I need to remind myself to live in the day.
The rain has stopped for now and the air is clear. I feel like I can breathe.
All I wanna do is pour me a drink, turn my radio up loud and dance. I wanna open the windows and breathe in the fresh air. I wanna laugh and be stress free because tonight — today— is all about me.
Do your undies sag low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Cant you tie them in a bow? (Not that you would want to) Can you throw them over your shoulder like the… WAIT A MINUTE! It’s not the cotton and the soldier? It’s continental soldier! Well, I’ll be a monkeys uncle! I pretty much thought that those were the lyrics since 1994 and Barney was cool! The things you’ll discover when google-ing.
Let’s try this again! Why? Because I have a title that needs divulged people!
Do your undies sag low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Cant you tie them in a bow? (Not that you would want to) Can you throw them over your shoulder like the continental soldier? Do your undies sag low?
Ooohhh weeee! Mine do! Yup. Uh-huh. Which —indeed— is a radical and amazing sign of weight loss and progress-ess-ess-sss. Noticed the sag yesterday after my hour long binge on the elliptical. As soon as I saw the little Pfffftttt hanging down I thought to myself, Loose t-shirts! Check. Squeezing into previously non-squeezable jeans! Check. M.I.A boobies! Check. Loosey goosey undies! Check. Check annndd check. Then I smiled—